Easter is just around the corner
Easter is just around the corner. And what better way to celebrate it than with these new products from the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co.? These Easter bags and charming totes and purses are one great way. Or how about these cookie presses for some family fun. And don't forget the placemates and napkins, get them monogrammed to make everyone feel welcome at the table. And what better to set your table with than these specially themed plates? And what better to eat off of them in than these onesies made just for the occasion, or these party dresses? Not to mention these personalized bibs for easy clean up. And let's not forget after the festivities! This rabbit-in-a-box is perfect for after dinner play and this special edition of the Velveteen Rabbit will put them to sleep after a long day. The Warm Biscuit Bedding Co. had got you covered for Easter.
We here at the bedding consumers blog have hit on a goldmine. We realize that our last post was perhaps dismal and glooming, but now that we have found these new items from the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co. our days have been filled with joy and lightheartedness.
Check out this Cherry Cherries Apron, this Valentine's day it will mask the blood from the holiday goose that is sure to splatter during the animals preparation to be made into food to fatten your sweetheart. (And with these oilcloths clean up will be a cinch!)
The next best thing to new items at the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co. is the discovery of old gems that have since gone on sale, and great items from holidays which have recently passed. And we here at the Bedding Consumers Blog have ravaged the Yard Sale section of the vintage fabrics to the point that if you hope to purchase anything, you'd better get there quick. And while you're there get yourself something nice for the holiday. Hey, you deserve it.
Check out this Cherry Cherries Apron, this Valentine's day it will mask the blood from the holiday goose that is sure to splatter during the animals preparation to be made into food to fatten your sweetheart. (And with these oilcloths clean up will be a cinch!)
The next best thing to new items at the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co. is the discovery of old gems that have since gone on sale, and great items from holidays which have recently passed. And we here at the Bedding Consumers Blog have ravaged the Yard Sale section of the vintage fabrics to the point that if you hope to purchase anything, you'd better get there quick. And while you're there get yourself something nice for the holiday. Hey, you deserve it.
Arts and crafts become the jilted lovers Valentine
This Valentine's day why not redirect all of your energy away from that voodoo doll and back into your children's well being by following this fun and friendly advice of the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co.
Throw that Patsy Cline record out the window, put on some David Allen Coe, roll up your sleeves, and get ready to have more fun than Héloise's father did when he caught Abelard.
With these gifts you can dress even the most unappealing of children in enough velvet red and silver to guarantee them at least one Valentine card at school.
These lockets will make a great gift for that special someone who has been ignoring you all year but might be feeling amorous on account of the holiday couples that will be everywhere they look. Or try a charm bracelet or necklace, you can have the verbal and symbolic expression of your love stamped into something that will not wear away with time and the capricious whims of desire.
Another great idea from Warm Biscuit is to use these stickers, and create your own Valentine's card, rather than offer up the cheap trash from Hallmark that all the other prospective lovers will be offering.
You can use these bibs and onesies, to absorb the saliva your baby will be drooling when they catch sight of your new love interest wearing Warm Biscuit's picture and poem locket. And this apron will absorb yours when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror.
And hey, while you're there why not pick up one of these Valentine tote bags to carry away your purchases to your loved one.
Throw that Patsy Cline record out the window, put on some David Allen Coe, roll up your sleeves, and get ready to have more fun than Héloise's father did when he caught Abelard.
With these gifts you can dress even the most unappealing of children in enough velvet red and silver to guarantee them at least one Valentine card at school.
These lockets will make a great gift for that special someone who has been ignoring you all year but might be feeling amorous on account of the holiday couples that will be everywhere they look. Or try a charm bracelet or necklace, you can have the verbal and symbolic expression of your love stamped into something that will not wear away with time and the capricious whims of desire.
Another great idea from Warm Biscuit is to use these stickers, and create your own Valentine's card, rather than offer up the cheap trash from Hallmark that all the other prospective lovers will be offering.
You can use these bibs and onesies, to absorb the saliva your baby will be drooling when they catch sight of your new love interest wearing Warm Biscuit's picture and poem locket. And this apron will absorb yours when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror.
And hey, while you're there why not pick up one of these Valentine tote bags to carry away your purchases to your loved one.
Don't buy into the HYPE!
When the Chinese are trying to thin out the ranks of our children by poisoning them with lead, and you feel that your only option is to buy into the capitalist propaganda spewed like venom from the cursed mouths of our corporate controlled newspaper men and television commentators, the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co shines like a beacon, illuminating for all to see the horns which grow forth from the forehead of Ann Coulter and the tail which slinks behind Matt Lauer as they crawl out of the sewer and onto the primetime stage.
"This," proclaims the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co, "is what children's toys should look like!" And although nowhere does the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co name names or point fingers, you get a sense that this is right, and those other toy companies are wrong, while browsing through their website.
Take, for instance, their sword and shield set. It is all natural wood. NO chemicals, NO batteries, NO non-biodegradable toxins, this toy runs on pure Imagination. Cleanly, and efficiently. And with a toy like this your children may stand a chance at fending off the corporate patsy's that we ourselves have failed to defeat.
Another great idea would be their archery set, which would go great with their tepee toy and toy Indians. These toys provides cultural learning by allowing them to role play as the natives to this land whose heritage we destroyed, thus giving them a more thorough understanding of what it is to be the loser, thus helping them to succeed by avoiding those pitfalls in our new world.
Their drumset has been reviewed by us before as a wholesome, fun loving way to explore the brains cognition and strengthen hand eye coordination. Plus it won't poison them with toxins, which is something the competition cannot claim.
Other toys that strengthen the neural pathways would be their bowling knights game, and their bash-a-burglar game, which also teaches the value of honesty and hard work over petty theft.
An Editor's Pick for this season is the Pirate Playhouse, which magically transforms a common card table into a pirate ship, preparing them for the years of sailing to come once the icecaps have wasted away. A good compliment to this playhouse would be the treasure chest, which teaches them to not trust banks, and the miniature pirate ship. Why not get two so that they can plan out and their attack when they must shanghai luxury vessels for survival.
Another editors pick are their lite-brite and colorforms. Save them from the vulgar life of a bad artist, who trades his souls work as a commodity, by giving them the aesthetic experience needed in childhood to be a good artist.
And last but certainly not least for this weeks review is the wooden rocking horse, which will accustom your child to the uncomfortable demands which will be placed on them once the automobile is no longer a sustainable, realistic option for moving human beings from one point to another.
Again, the company this blog sees as the only children's company likely to move ahead in the new millennium is the Warm Biscuit Bedding Company.
"This," proclaims the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co, "is what children's toys should look like!" And although nowhere does the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co name names or point fingers, you get a sense that this is right, and those other toy companies are wrong, while browsing through their website.
Take, for instance, their sword and shield set. It is all natural wood. NO chemicals, NO batteries, NO non-biodegradable toxins, this toy runs on pure Imagination. Cleanly, and efficiently. And with a toy like this your children may stand a chance at fending off the corporate patsy's that we ourselves have failed to defeat.
Another great idea would be their archery set, which would go great with their tepee toy and toy Indians. These toys provides cultural learning by allowing them to role play as the natives to this land whose heritage we destroyed, thus giving them a more thorough understanding of what it is to be the loser, thus helping them to succeed by avoiding those pitfalls in our new world.
Their drumset has been reviewed by us before as a wholesome, fun loving way to explore the brains cognition and strengthen hand eye coordination. Plus it won't poison them with toxins, which is something the competition cannot claim.
Other toys that strengthen the neural pathways would be their bowling knights game, and their bash-a-burglar game, which also teaches the value of honesty and hard work over petty theft.
An Editor's Pick for this season is the Pirate Playhouse, which magically transforms a common card table into a pirate ship, preparing them for the years of sailing to come once the icecaps have wasted away. A good compliment to this playhouse would be the treasure chest, which teaches them to not trust banks, and the miniature pirate ship. Why not get two so that they can plan out and their attack when they must shanghai luxury vessels for survival.
Another editors pick are their lite-brite and colorforms. Save them from the vulgar life of a bad artist, who trades his souls work as a commodity, by giving them the aesthetic experience needed in childhood to be a good artist.
And last but certainly not least for this weeks review is the wooden rocking horse, which will accustom your child to the uncomfortable demands which will be placed on them once the automobile is no longer a sustainable, realistic option for moving human beings from one point to another.
Again, the company this blog sees as the only children's company likely to move ahead in the new millennium is the Warm Biscuit Bedding Company.
What is wrong with society?
Check out this bedding. It makes my head spin. I get stomach cramps and vertigo. What is this crap? This isn't children's bedding. Do you really want your children sleeping in a nauseating mess of coarse blue fabric, the color of depression? Do you want them to equate their nesting place with sabers, the occult, and deformed half-men who have been lured over to fight for the darkness? Seduced by power and the immobilizing fear of a lonely existence? Do you want them to grow up with the memory of returning at night to a dark, violent bed? A memory that will constantly remind them that their true home, their final resting stop, is the Dark Side?
I doubt that you do. And I believe you, like myself, are disgusted with the way the new Star Wars video games have your children fighting first-person in the game as the character of a young Darth Vader. As the chosen one, the child who could save all of the Galactic Empire, but instead chose an illusion of comfort and acceptance, which was offered to him by the Dark Side, the only home he ever knew? Do you want him to be harassed by the children at school, teased on account of the dark circles under his eyes? Circles that are there because he was kept awake by night terrors brought on by the violent scenes of satyr-like figures assaulting one another between his sheets? Do you want him to be an outcast? Do you want to lie awake at night asking yourself "What is society going to do to my baby?!"
No, you don't. Which is why your child's bedding is more than just fashion. More than just a way to spoil your children, impress your neighbors, and shower love in a tangible and overt way on your one true favorite child while shunning your daughter by dressing her bed in 50 thread count K-Mart sheets for stealing your husband's affection and reminding you or your own mortality and that female adolescence is the only thing that is real and of any value in this world. Something that you no longer have.
So we here at the Bedding Consumers Blog scour the internet for the best in children's bedding and other items purchased by people who purchase children's bedding, and we then post our findings here for you, free of charge, because we understand you have more important things to do with your time. Like packing your son's lunch for school, and swapping out your daughters birth control pills with Advil.
And this week we have found some things that would make even the most abused child feign love for you.
First up are these stately Thanksgiving day decorations. All very reasonably priced and better than the things you already have.
Next up: Be the hit of the party thrown in honor of the impregnation of the Woman with these great baby shower gifts for both her and the spawn. These great gifts for the wives of your husbands co-workers will make the other women wish they were dead.
Our personal favorite section here at the Bedding Consumers Blog can be found Here. This is the section where you will find actual things that your child can use in the creation of other things. These items will help teach your child to be a productive, healthy member of society, rather than one of the unkempt, greasy children who sit slumped in front of the "tee-vee" all afternoon playing mindless video games where they are taught to kill other living things, or watching mind numbing programs that suck their imagination from them and teach them nothing more than to sit idly and be entertained by base situational comedies that make allusions to adult material unsuitable for children and too droll for their parents to watch an entire episode of, meaning they never see for themselves the crap their children are being exposed to.
Next up are these delightful fabrics. These fabrics that we found are better, cleaner, cheaper, and have more Moral fiber sewn into them than any other fabric we here at the Bedding Consumers Blog have ever seen. You would be using sub-par fabric if you were to use any other fabric than these.
Christmas is on it's way. And with all the fake plastic smiles and superficial love that will be everywhere you look it would be nice to have a product which reminds you that yes, people do actually still make things with their hands; people who care do still do things that actually contribute to society's betterment and fight against the debasement of children. And purchasing this minority's products will help them to survive and then maybe one day it will be the convenient thing to purchase and then the ball will be in their court. This guitar, this piano, and this drum kit will help teach your children empathy through musical appreciation. Something that former Surgeon General Dr. C. Everett Koop has written about at some length. This spirograph will aid your child in examining patterns and angles while helping them understand their formation, giving them an advantage over the neighbor's children when they enter into math class. And what ever happened to family game night? Now families gather together in front of a luminescent screen to watch the horror that is "prime time" drama.
Yeah, "prime time" for some destruction of innocence and children's fanciful dreams.
I doubt that you do. And I believe you, like myself, are disgusted with the way the new Star Wars video games have your children fighting first-person in the game as the character of a young Darth Vader. As the chosen one, the child who could save all of the Galactic Empire, but instead chose an illusion of comfort and acceptance, which was offered to him by the Dark Side, the only home he ever knew? Do you want him to be harassed by the children at school, teased on account of the dark circles under his eyes? Circles that are there because he was kept awake by night terrors brought on by the violent scenes of satyr-like figures assaulting one another between his sheets? Do you want him to be an outcast? Do you want to lie awake at night asking yourself "What is society going to do to my baby?!"
No, you don't. Which is why your child's bedding is more than just fashion. More than just a way to spoil your children, impress your neighbors, and shower love in a tangible and overt way on your one true favorite child while shunning your daughter by dressing her bed in 50 thread count K-Mart sheets for stealing your husband's affection and reminding you or your own mortality and that female adolescence is the only thing that is real and of any value in this world. Something that you no longer have.
So we here at the Bedding Consumers Blog scour the internet for the best in children's bedding and other items purchased by people who purchase children's bedding, and we then post our findings here for you, free of charge, because we understand you have more important things to do with your time. Like packing your son's lunch for school, and swapping out your daughters birth control pills with Advil.
And this week we have found some things that would make even the most abused child feign love for you.
First up are these stately Thanksgiving day decorations. All very reasonably priced and better than the things you already have.
Next up: Be the hit of the party thrown in honor of the impregnation of the Woman with these great baby shower gifts for both her and the spawn. These great gifts for the wives of your husbands co-workers will make the other women wish they were dead.
Our personal favorite section here at the Bedding Consumers Blog can be found Here. This is the section where you will find actual things that your child can use in the creation of other things. These items will help teach your child to be a productive, healthy member of society, rather than one of the unkempt, greasy children who sit slumped in front of the "tee-vee" all afternoon playing mindless video games where they are taught to kill other living things, or watching mind numbing programs that suck their imagination from them and teach them nothing more than to sit idly and be entertained by base situational comedies that make allusions to adult material unsuitable for children and too droll for their parents to watch an entire episode of, meaning they never see for themselves the crap their children are being exposed to.
Next up are these delightful fabrics. These fabrics that we found are better, cleaner, cheaper, and have more Moral fiber sewn into them than any other fabric we here at the Bedding Consumers Blog have ever seen. You would be using sub-par fabric if you were to use any other fabric than these.
Christmas is on it's way. And with all the fake plastic smiles and superficial love that will be everywhere you look it would be nice to have a product which reminds you that yes, people do actually still make things with their hands; people who care do still do things that actually contribute to society's betterment and fight against the debasement of children. And purchasing this minority's products will help them to survive and then maybe one day it will be the convenient thing to purchase and then the ball will be in their court. This guitar, this piano, and this drum kit will help teach your children empathy through musical appreciation. Something that former Surgeon General Dr. C. Everett Koop has written about at some length. This spirograph will aid your child in examining patterns and angles while helping them understand their formation, giving them an advantage over the neighbor's children when they enter into math class. And what ever happened to family game night? Now families gather together in front of a luminescent screen to watch the horror that is "prime time" drama.
Yeah, "prime time" for some destruction of innocence and children's fanciful dreams.
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