What is wrong with society?

Check out this bedding. It makes my head spin. I get stomach cramps and vertigo. What is this crap? This isn't children's bedding. Do you really want your children sleeping in a nauseating mess of coarse blue fabric, the color of depression? Do you want them to equate their nesting place with sabers, the occult, and deformed half-men who have been lured over to fight for the darkness? Seduced by power and the immobilizing fear of a lonely existence? Do you want them to grow up with the memory of returning at night to a dark, violent bed? A memory that will constantly remind them that their true home, their final resting stop, is the Dark Side?

I doubt that you do. And I believe you, like myself, are disgusted with the way the new Star Wars video games have your children fighting first-person in the game as the character of a young Darth Vader. As the chosen one, the child who could save all of the Galactic Empire, but instead chose an illusion of comfort and acceptance, which was offered to him by the Dark Side, the only home he ever knew? Do you want him to be harassed by the children at school, teased on account of the dark circles under his eyes? Circles that are there because he was kept awake by night terrors brought on by the violent scenes of satyr-like figures assaulting one another between his sheets? Do you want him to be an outcast? Do you want to lie awake at night asking yourself "What is society going to do to my baby?!"

No, you don't. Which is why your child's bedding is more than just fashion. More than just a way to spoil your children, impress your neighbors, and shower love in a tangible and overt way on your one true favorite child while shunning your daughter by dressing her bed in 50 thread count K-Mart sheets for stealing your husband's affection and reminding you or your own mortality and that female adolescence is the only thing that is real and of any value in this world. Something that you no longer have.

So we here at the Bedding Consumers Blog scour the internet for the best in children's bedding and other items purchased by people who purchase children's bedding, and we then post our findings here for you, free of charge, because we understand you have more important things to do with your time. Like packing your son's lunch for school, and swapping out your daughters birth control pills with Advil.

And this week we have found some things that would make even the most abused child feign love for you.

First up are these stately Thanksgiving day decorations. All very reasonably priced and better than the things you already have.

Next up: Be the hit of the party thrown in honor of the impregnation of the Woman with these great baby shower gifts for both her and the spawn. These great gifts for the wives of your husbands co-workers will make the other women wish they were dead.

Our personal favorite section here at the Bedding Consumers Blog can be found Here. This is the section where you will find actual things that your child can use in the creation of other things. These items will help teach your child to be a productive, healthy member of society, rather than one of the unkempt, greasy children who sit slumped in front of the "tee-vee" all afternoon playing mindless video games where they are taught to kill other living things, or watching mind numbing programs that suck their imagination from them and teach them nothing more than to sit idly and be entertained by base situational comedies that make allusions to adult material unsuitable for children and too droll for their parents to watch an entire episode of, meaning they never see for themselves the crap their children are being exposed to.

Next up are these delightful fabrics. These fabrics that we found are better, cleaner, cheaper, and have more Moral fiber sewn into them than any other fabric we here at the Bedding Consumers Blog have ever seen. You would be using sub-par fabric if you were to use any other fabric than these.

Christmas is on it's way. And with all the fake plastic smiles and superficial love that will be everywhere you look it would be nice to have a product which reminds you that yes, people do actually still make things with their hands; people who care do still do things that actually contribute to society's betterment and fight against the debasement of children. And purchasing this minority's products will help them to survive and then maybe one day it will be the convenient thing to purchase and then the ball will be in their court. This guitar, this piano, and this drum kit will help teach your children empathy through musical appreciation. Something that former Surgeon General Dr. C. Everett Koop has written about at some length. This spirograph will aid your child in examining patterns and angles while helping them understand their formation, giving them an advantage over the neighbor's children when they enter into math class. And what ever happened to family game night? Now families gather together in front of a luminescent screen to watch the horror that is "prime time" drama.

Yeah, "prime time" for some destruction of innocence and children's fanciful dreams.