Don't buy into the HYPE!

When the Chinese are trying to thin out the ranks of our children by poisoning them with lead, and you feel that your only option is to buy into the capitalist propaganda spewed like venom from the cursed mouths of our corporate controlled newspaper men and television commentators, the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co shines like a beacon, illuminating for all to see the horns which grow forth from the forehead of Ann Coulter and the tail which slinks behind Matt Lauer as they crawl out of the sewer and onto the primetime stage.
"This," proclaims the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co, "is what children's toys should look like!" And although nowhere does the Warm Biscuit Bedding Co name names or point fingers, you get a sense that this is right, and those other toy companies are wrong, while browsing through their website.
Take, for instance, their sword and shield set. It is all natural wood. NO chemicals, NO batteries, NO non-biodegradable toxins, this toy runs on pure Imagination. Cleanly, and efficiently. And with a toy like this your children may stand a chance at fending off the corporate patsy's that we ourselves have failed to defeat.
Another great idea would be their archery set, which would go great with their tepee toy and toy Indians. These toys provides cultural learning by allowing them to role play as the natives to this land whose heritage we destroyed, thus giving them a more thorough understanding of what it is to be the loser, thus helping them to succeed by avoiding those pitfalls in our new world.
Their drumset has been reviewed by us before as a wholesome, fun loving way to explore the brains cognition and strengthen hand eye coordination. Plus it won't poison them with toxins, which is something the competition cannot claim.
Other toys that strengthen the neural pathways would be their bowling knights game, and their bash-a-burglar game, which also teaches the value of honesty and hard work over petty theft.

An Editor's Pick for this season is the Pirate Playhouse, which magically transforms a common card table into a pirate ship, preparing them for the years of sailing to come once the icecaps have wasted away. A good compliment to this playhouse would be the treasure chest, which teaches them to not trust banks, and the miniature pirate ship. Why not get two so that they can plan out and their attack when they must shanghai luxury vessels for survival.
Another editors pick are their lite-brite and colorforms. Save them from the vulgar life of a bad artist, who trades his souls work as a commodity, by giving them the aesthetic experience needed in childhood to be a good artist.
And last but certainly not least for this weeks review is the wooden rocking horse, which will accustom your child to the uncomfortable demands which will be placed on them once the automobile is no longer a sustainable, realistic option for moving human beings from one point to another.
Again, the company this blog sees as the only children's company likely to move ahead in the new millennium is the Warm Biscuit Bedding Company.